Yes, I am celebrating the now. I am pregnant! We are expecting. I am only 6 weeks along but I am telling all who want to hear. I am celebrating the now. Sure, it is early. Absolutely, I have no darn idea what could happen and guess what, that is OK. Maybe I will get a few more prayers and positive thoughts my way. Wink, wink.
My husband, Brian, is so excited. When I read that pregnancy test, I mean 3 tests (yes, I know, I went overboard), my first reaction was panic. What if I lose this pregnancy like I lost the last? What if something goes wrong? Madilyn is still deciding. She did tell us the other night that the new baby will sleep in the attic. Yikes.
I have decided to celebrate the now and right now, I am pregnant and that is just so darn awesome.
The world works in mysterious ways. Last year, at pretty much this same time of year, I found out I was pregnant. A week later, my very best friend in the whole entire world asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Her wedding was days away from my due date. My stomach sank. How could I be in her wedding? How could I not be in her wedding? I didn't have to make the choice. The choice was already made for me. I lost that pregnancy at 11 weeks.
I think I was meant to be in my best friend's wedding. Maybe the baby knew I needed to be there for my best friend and decided to wait and come back this year. When I lost the pregnancy, my uncle said to me, "You know what, Betsy? I think you still have the same kids. They just decide when they are ready to visit you." Hmm. You just never know.
Someone recently asked me if the heartache after a miscarriage ever goes away. I don't think it does. However, I think the strength to move forward shows up shortly after and that my friends, is so powerful. There are no guarantees in life. It didn't matter how much kale I ate. I still had a miscarriage.
Pregnancy is a tricky thing. For me, it is letting go of control. It is trusting in my body, my mind, and maybe even a higher power. It is taking a step back and enjoying each and every gift. It is realizing that there are no guarantees for tomorrow so I might as well enjoy today. Soak it up. Celebrate. Love.
The awesome thing is that I got another chance and I am celebrating it - good and early.
How did we celebrate? With polenta pie. Duh.
Italian-style Polenta Pie
1 package of quick cooking polenta
1/2 onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons capers
1 container of cherry tomatoes, chopped
2 cups collard greens, chopped
1 cup of organic mozzarella cheese, shredded
sea salt and pepper to taste
Follow the directions on the box and cook the polenta. Grease a square baking dish and pour in the cooked polenta. Bake in the oven at 350F for about 15 minutes - depending on how firm and crunchy you want the polenta to be. In the meantime, saute the veggie toppings in a small frying pan until they are soft. Take the polenta out of the oven and top with the toppings. Pop back into the oven to warm the toppings and melt the cheese.
What can you celebrate today?